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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30051108">Used To Be</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways'>brokenhighways</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hit the Floor (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Exes, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Past Lives</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:53:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,106</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30051108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zero's past catches up with him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jude Kinkade/Zero | Gideon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Hit The Floor ▶ Zero / Jude Kinkade, Zude</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Used To Be</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"It's going to be fun explaining this to Laura," Jude says, barely stifling his chuckle. He presses an ice pack to the forming bruise on the side of Zero's face, shifting it slightly to alleviate any pressure. "I hope she likes horror stories."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Jude. This isn't funny."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zero's face isn't the only thing wounded here, his pride has taken a hit too. Being jumped by a five foot nothing Victoria's Secret model isn't exactly what he had in mind when he threw this party. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jude takes the ice pack away from Zero's face. "Oh, but it is funny, Gideon. A crazy ex-girlfriend is one thing, but what happened here tonight? It's... I don't even know how to describe it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"She was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>my girlfriend," Zero insists. "And it was a disaster. A very serious disaster."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jude presses his lips together, no doubt to hide another burst of laughter. If Zero wasn't hopelessly in love with him, and secure in their relationship he'd be offended, but truthfully, he'll take Jude seeing the funny side over how it could have gone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I guess that explains why you slept with her </span>
  <em>
    <span>sister</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay. How was I supposed to know that? Hell, sue me for not being the most observant guy."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"They're twins, Zero." Jude raises an eyebrow. "They look like each other!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Not without the lights on they don't."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jude laughs. "Look, it's done now. We need to talk strategy. It's probably going to be all over the internet in an hour. Do you want me to draft a statement?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zero grabs the ice pack from Jude and presses it back to his face. "Whatever happened to 'no comment'?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That, my friend," Jude says, "only happens in the movies. And you know, when you don't want to implicate yourself. You're way past that point."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're enjoying this way too much," Zero twists his head to look at him. "You're mad at me, aren't you?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At Zero's questioning look Jude adds, "I was your agent, Zero. It was my job to deal with this kind of stuff."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Really? How many of my past exploits did you stop from crashing my parties?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"There was Bethany, the waitress at that Spanish restaurant. Lucy, the girl that hosted the hot yoga class you went to for three weeks. Mabel the…vegan baker. Not to be confused with Mabel the </span>
  <em>
    <span>regular</span>
  </em>
  <span> baker."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't remember any of them."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No... I don't suppose you do. I always put it down to you being you, but after watching you with Jelena…" Jude smiles sadly. "I think you were just doing whatever you needed to do to hide from your feelings. You didn't want to be alone."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're saying that I used these girls?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jude shrugs. "Didn't you?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"And you're okay with that?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm not going to judge you for what you did before me. I'd... drive myself crazy. Besides, the person who needs to be okay with it is </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"How can I be okay with the fact that I'm an asshole?" Zero's surprised to hear the words coming from his mouth. His bad boy persona was his cloak against the harshness of reality for so long that it feels weird not to be clinging on to it now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Easy." Jude smiles. "You make things right with the twins. And then you forgive yourself."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm not following…" Zero bites his lip once, releasing it to add, "Shouldn't I be asking for forgiveness from everyone else?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Look, as noble as it is for you to feel bad, those girls knew what they were getting into," Jude says. "You're not some villain, Gideon. You're just a guy who made bad choices. And now you're making better ones."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm looking at the best one right now."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jude smiles. "Yeah, yeah. Look, I'm going to go and prepare this statement and hand out NDAs to whoever I can find. Think about what you're going to tell Laura!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He presses a chaste kiss to Zero's lips and brushes his thumb against the bruise, just a gentle press followed by a reassuring smile. "Oh. I should ask. Do you want to press charges?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No. I don't want this to be bigger than it is."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay. I'll be back in twenty minutes."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zero smiles at Jude's retreating figure, not realising it's fading until his eye begins to throb. Stacy, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>first </span>
  </em>
  <span>twin, has a mean right hook. Her sister, Tracy (and really, did their parents even </span>
  <em>
    <span>try</span>
  </em>
  <span>?), went for a simple drink toss and he learned the hard way that vodka does </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> numb all pain. His eyes are still stinging and his shirt is probably ruined.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not that he cares about that. The only thing he cares about just reassured him that he's here and he's not upset. He's not </span>
  <em>
    <span>judging</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. Despite his worry over Laura, he believes she'll have a similar reaction. As for the rest of the world? Zero can't bring himself to care. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jude is right. He has to forgive himself. He has to accept that he made bad choices. Choices that might make people hate him, but choices all the same. Sitting around feeling sorry for himself isn't going to change anything. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That guy they're mad at isn't me," he mumbles under his breath. "He's the guy I used to be."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stands up, discarding the icepack on the countertop. The music is still vibrating against the walls and he can hear the chatter of the guests, the loud whoops from the ones who've had too much to drink. Statement or not, Zero's come too far to </span>
  <em>
    <span>hide</span>
  </em>
  <span> from who he is - and who he used to be. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He straightens his jacket and steps out of the small room security guided him into when things went crazy. Jude's outside in the hallway, engrossed in a phone call but he turns when Zero stops beside him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll call you back, John…"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I decided to make my own statement," Zero says. "Out there."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jude narrows his eyes. "What are you going to say?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"The truth. Zero is who I </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but the man I am today is Gideon and... that's all down to you," Zero swallows down that first tingle of nerves, forcing himself to add, "you make me want to be a better person, Jude."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jude is visibly surprised, and Zero knows his silence isn't anything untoward. The real answer lies in the warmth of his eyes and the way his lips curve into the sweetest smile, like a glass of cold water on a sunny day. He drinks it in and hooks their arms together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Come on. We've got a party to get back to."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Fin. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
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